STAND AGAIN!

Here I stand again, leaving the dark side

yes, I am on the bright one.  
Where its all beautiful and wide.

Welcome to my world, here its all fine.

The days are brighter now, with a cheerful sunshine
Breeze travels through the windows,
Touching and making me smile.
I dreamt of this beautiful world, which is now all mine.

The nights are calm enough, to make me sleep

Here I have a friend too, for secrets to keep.
We talk all day, we laugh all the time.
He is so much like me, his wounds are so deep.

I am not weak anymore, neither is he.

I have learnt to fight, whatsoever it maybe
Do not worry, you will find a way too

Make a new friend, like i made ME.

Here I stand again, Leaving the dark side

Yes, I am on the bright side. 
And here, its all beautiful and wide.

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The last one!

Shattered on the floor before my own eyes,

a thoughtful mind is where it all lies.

but in all dark.. there is still a ray of hope,

IS IT HOW A PERSON DIES??

 

my soul has stopped playing his part,

Man! there, i missed my final dart.

but this heart! yes this evil heart is still making me breathe,

i want it to stop, it tells me to start.

 

Standing in the mid, i have lost my way,

Questions bouncing in head..Do they want me to stay?

no you can’t beat me, not this time you feelings!

i am done! dont wanna live another day.

 

i am losing it slowly the whole of this power,

again and again watering the dead flower,

lips twitching but i can’t speak.

i am bathing naked in the red blood shower.

 

a blow of wind will take me along,

to the world of dead soul, is it where i belong?

no dont try, please dont try to help,

i dont want you to end up being this wrong.

 

in the nights, i hear deep echoes in my room,

not letting me sleep, what should i assume?

i lie there still and numb without a blink.

thinking of the sleeping time and name covered abloom.

Responsibility!

The word responsibility has been a terrifying word for me – I am slightly exaggerating but I’m also serious. I actually consider myself quite a responsible person, doing the right thing, arriving on time, being reliable, honest, considering others, not cheating on my time sheets at work and so on and so on. But although I may be ‘doing’ the responsible actions in my life, I never ever considered the quality of these actions and how they affect me and outside of me.

For example, if I am angry and I harm another by yelling at them, then that person is affected in some way: they may be hurt, react or become aggressive as a form of protection. Then they will relate with another, or others, and their quality will affect the other and the domino effect begins. This is a very simple example. We affect others by our attitude, our ways of communication, how we live, how we walk, talk, our beliefs, our ideals, how we look after ourselves – not one aspect of our lives remains hidden as it comes through us in our quality. So what are we reflecting? What is the quality of what we are reflecting?

Likewise, I have no control over the way that people are affected by my words. People duck and weave in patterns of their own choosing. They dodge or they stand still – it’s up to them.

And when my words hit their target, the people have made the choice to wear kevlar or not. The depth to which my words penetrate into their minds and lives is determined by how much armour they chose to wear before they ever knew me.

I now understand the importance of this. If I am ‘doing’ these actions of responsibility in an emotional state such as anger, or in resentment, tiredness, bitterness, to wanting to be good, to get recognition for what I am doing, then what is the quality I am bringing to doing this action? For example, if I do something responsible because I want everyone to recognise me as a ‘good’ person, then the quality is one of “it’s about me,” that is – what I bring. How are people around me affected by this quality of “it’s about me”?

Similarly, I can choose a true quality, one of love, and if I bring this to all of my life, then loving acts will follow towards everyone I engage with.

These two distinct qualities, put simply, are either loving or unloving, and have very different effects on our bodies, on others and our world. Our true responsibility is one of energetic quality, and when we are in a loving quality, naturally our way of living becomes more loving, caring, meaningful, and understanding that we are powerful in how we affect our own lives and the lives of others by our reflection of quality.

Responsibility then becomes about quality rather than action. The quality takes care of the action. This definition raises the benchmark for responsibility, but with it comes a joy of knowing our power in what we reflect and how what we are reflecting is inspiring for others.

The world will wake up to a new beauty and love in humanity as we begin to become responsible for the reflection we bring to the world in our everyday lives, in all our relationships with others, even for a moment. Each one of us affects the whole… everyone. This will happen as responsibility is redefined from being an action to the quality of what that action brings 

The more I have become aware of my own patterns of behaviour and irresponsibility, the more I have recognised it around me. We each have rights and responsibilities within our communities and this reflects how we are as individual nations: the way I and my fellow citizens choose to live has an effect on how the country we call home is. Changing ingrained patterns of behaviour can be challenging, but it is our energetic responsibility to reflect to others the loving choices we can make every day: we can continue to strive for personal gain whatever the impact on others, or we can lovingly choose to work together for the benefit of all.

© Whimsicalthoughtsblog’17

Picture credits: @ABHINAVJETHI (INSTA)

If you know you are happy!

I’m happy.  I don’t really know why, but I feel really good.  My life is going well and I’m just… happy!

Maybe it seems strange to you that I would talk about happiness this way, but I am so grateful for the happy days that I have to express it.

I’ve talked before about depression and the effects it’s had on my life at different times.  I never know when it will strike again.  And the bitch about depression is the fact that you don’t know that it’s happening to you until it’s got you by the throat.

You wake up one day, look around you and wonder how your world has become so dark, bleak and unforgiving.  You know you have many blessings and many good things/people in your life.  But the depression robs you of the ability to find joy in these things.

The joy you once found in music, or writing, or singing, playing the bongos, or anything else that gave pleasure is gone.

Depression creeps in and wedges into the little cracks and crannies of your life until it’s a full blown Dragon sitting on your chest.

The other thing that depression can do is make you immobile.  I don’t mean that you suddenly can’t walk.  What I mean is that the day to day things that used to be so easy are now mountainous to you.

The simple act of washing those few dishes in the sink, or taking that load of laundry out of the dryer, are acts that are just too hard to deal with at the moment.

Just existing is difficult.

You stop interacting with other people and you isolate yourself.  Dealing with others is again, just too difficult.  When you are in a full on assault from depression, you put on a brave face, so people don’t see.

Then you isolate yourself even more.

It becomes a terrible cycle.  The more you isolate yourself, the worse your depression becomes.  The worse your depression becomes, the more you isolate yourself.

People who have never experienced this don’t understand it.

Then one day, you’re looking out the window and suddenly the colors are more vibrant, like someone lifted the film from the window so that you have a clear view.   You WANT to go for a walk, or wash the car, or visit family.  Out of the blue you realize that you’re singing along with the radio.  One day you’re sitting at the keyboard and realize that you’re WRITING again!

And just like that, you’ve made it through.  The depression has passed.  Maybe you had a change in medication, maybe you’ve had a change in your life, or maybe you just rode the wave.  Whatever it is, it’s gone.

Will it be back?  Will the dragons come creeping in the night to hide under my bed, waiting for their chance?  I don’t know.

I DO know that today, I am happy and for that I’m grateful!

©Whimsicalthoughtsblog

That old magic!

Do you remember knowing that green was your favorite color because it’s what made the grass grow?

Do you remember when the 3-eyed, orange-fanged monster lurking under your bed was real (and smelly), waiting to pounce as soon as your toes touched the floor?

Do you remember how powerful and brave Dad was when he banished these beasts with a chanted command: “Go away, Go away! Nobody here wants to play!”

Do you remember when coloring outside the lines just meant you had more space to fill with brilliant colors?

 

Do you remember when ANYTHING was possible if you tried hard enough (especially if Dad was there to help during the hard parts)?

Suspending the willing suspension of disbelief

I can’t point to a specific point in time, but somewhere along the way, I stopped believing in magic. No Santa Claus. Flying meant buying a plane ticket. Dreams became strategic visions that were only implemented after a thorough feasibility study.

It wasn’t all bad. I learned that even though I was told babies were “delivered,” we get to play a pretty fun part in the production process. I learned that the human heart is more than an animated vessel that dispensed warm fuzzies, it’s an amazingly complex pump that continuously circulates life-sustaining blood. And those feasibility studies, they likely prevented countless disappointments from unrealized dreams strategic visions.

While I can’t point to a specific point in time that I stopped believing in magic, I CAN pinpoint the moment I wanted to start believing again.

MAGIC. 

©Whimsicalthoughtsblog

If NO! THEN WHAT NEXT?

What next? What do you do? What happens when everything and everyone you know says No to you? What do you do when everything falls apart?

Cry?
Laugh?
Smash everything around you?
Run?
Shut everyone out?
Talk to someone?
Cry with a friend?
Take a walk?
Scream at everything and everyone?
Breathe?

Today, I watched life and everything I thought I had and knew say No!. I felt like running away, shouting into the air, Get angry, shut everything and everyone out. But yet again, I couldn’t why, you ask? Because if I loose myself when am supposed to get it together, I just may never find my way back again. Besides God gave us the ability to do, not just to try
Give thanks rather than cry. It’s not easy but then we’ve got to try.

If I feel this way, how about those that don’t have anyone to share their feelings with? Those who can’t express themselves? Those tired of life? Those depressed and fading away gradually by the tickling of time? Am just asking?
Having received major rejections from life and people around you, especially from your loved ones, would you still be able to smile? I just couldn’t smile at that time but I knew I had to and I did.

Many of us have the perfect picture of how we want our lives to be. Perfect picture of how our day should go. How we expect people to treat us. Dont forget, because you are kind doesn’t mean people have to treat you the same way.
Some of are great planners and don’t like to do anything outside our plans. This can be very hurting when life decides to change our plans without notifying us.

Oftentimes the relationship we so much longed for and dreamt of keeps eluding us, our dreams may seem unrealistic and unfulfilling.
On top of it all,we feel disconnected from the world and everything around us.  But then we” gotta”keep trying and keep trusting.
Today, I felt like a shadow version of the person I thought I was or knew. I couldn’t take a breath but then my only hope was to trust God to fix everything for me, and he did.
Familiar to you? If it does, then, begin to ask yourself, contemplate on what it is that you really want, review your goals and ambitions. Remind yourself that it’s not over yet, it’s only beginning. Ask yourself what really matters now?
To remind yourself that you are in charge of your life and you determine how much of it you want, can take.

It’s up to you and I to decide if we want to remain sad or if we want to be happy. Lets also bear in mind that God wants us to be happy, prosper and be in good health even as our souls prospers.
just know that sometimes good things fall apart, so better thing can fall together.

©Whimsical thought blog


BEING REAL

Real people are destined to be hated and unappreciated by fools. There are people that will never appreciate anything you do not say regardless of your efforts. They are out to make your life as miserable as they can. They are never happy and can’t stand to see you happy. I call them “joy killers”. 
Today, i heard someone say something to a friend over the phone, “It’s not about who is real to your face, it’s about who stays real behind your back” and it hit me, we can never know the people who stay real to us at our back cos most of the time they are pretending to be real. I feel sad when i see people apologizing for doing what they love and have passion for, it’s equivalent to apologizing for being who they are. If you can’t be real to yourself, don’t expect people to be real to you. Some people are good at seeing through others, they can decipher the real ones from the fake ones. Always make sure your actions match your word at all times.
Life’s not about the people who act true to your face. It’s about the people who remain true behind your back. The truth is even a fake person will make a mistake and act like it never happened, a REAL person will make a mistake, admit it and apologize regardless of the outcome! The question is how real are we? You can’t give what you don’t have neither can you loose what you never had. Most of us spend our life time pleasing others, pretending to be happy when we are not, smile when we ought to cry, run when we should walk etc. We are so scared of being real, of being who we want to be because our intends always get misjudged and misinterpreted. Should we allow that to define us? No. We need to forget what we’ve heard, recognize what we see..Stand up to it or embrace it.

I don’t see any reason why we should fake ourselves just to look perfect because at the end of the day, perfection is never real and Reality is never Perfect!. I choose to be me, not who others choose to see. Speak the truth, even if your voice ends up shaking. Let your heart, life and around shine around your friends including before the haters, even if it seems like just a flicker sometimes. We need to stop looking for the society to give us permission to be ourselves. #Be real…Be you.
Remember a spark can ignite a very big bonfire. Keep it 100 at all times  I’m talking faith, trust, and loyalty.

©whimsicalthoughtsblog